week 13: Hannah Pulley

You.

Yes, you, in the blue SUV next to me, the one which could crush me into the passenger seat of this Chevy Malibu. It’s dark outside and raining ever so slightly, so I can see perfectly the game of Candy Crush in progress on a phone screen through your driver’s side window. More than anything, the impatient part of me wants to tap on your shoulder and point out the move that should be obvious to you. Maybe you could solve this level, if you didn’didn't have to give a third of your attention the stoplight in front of you. Then again, sometimes I struggle to see what is so interesting about a game that is worth risking your life for. Don’t get me wrong; I like my phone most of the time, when it serves its purpose. Right now is not one of these times. The low light renders the picture I took of your license plate a blurry mess. The streetlamps reflecting off of your window make a clear shot of your face impossible.*

Therefore, I propose a simple solution. Every person caught calling, texting, surfing the web, checking mail, or playing games while in the driver’s seat of a car will have their phone taken and its contents erased. Offenders will surrender their App Store password, which will be changed for an indefinite amount of time. Those committing repeat violations risk having their screen smashed and parts of the glass removed, rendering the device unusable. Confiscation of and threats of harm to the cell phones of teenagers has proven to be an effective solution in many instances. It is a rational solution to apply this to the adults of the world as well.  

*this actually happened and represents the peak of my ongoing frustration with the camera on the iphone 4