Hallie- 13

Republicans are my least favorite invention. I'm not going to go over the reasons I dislike the Republican Party because it is pretty self-explanatory. So, I'll tell you how I will annihilate them. I don’t know if it’s the fact that I’ve seen The Hunger Games movie twice in the last week or if it’s just me liking violence, but I want to put all of Republicans in the Hunger Games arena and make them fight to the death. This would kill many birds with one stone, literally. It would end having to deal with all of this “bipartisan’ stuff that I’m really bad at and Republicans wouldn’t have any say in policy choices. You may take this as satirical, but I have proposed this idea to Ben Swanson multiple times for an activity for the Young Democrats to do. Unfortunately, Ben isn’t in support of this.   

14- Hallie- disfunction

Disfunction. I could stop this blog post here and you would get the point of thanksgiving dinner, but then I wouls fufill the 150 word minium so I will ramble on some more. How many mental disorders can you fit around one table? At my families thanksgiving, its a lot. Our families issues range include ADD(can you guess its me), OCD, depression, psychophreniaa and demsnsia. All of those things packed around one thanksgiving table leads to some interesting moments, but we all love each other, so in the end Thanksgiving turns out perfectly chaoitic.

12- Hallie- Forks are sluts

Out of all utensils, forks are indisputably the best. First of all, they are the most useful of all of the utensils. They can pick things up, cut things,scoop things, and stab people you don't like. Almost all foods(excluding soup) can be ate with a fork. Just think of all of the possibilities: pie, pasta, meat, vegtables, the possibilities are endless. Even though I have a lot of repect for forks, they are also sluts, just think of how many mouths a fork touches a day. Forks are out of control, they will get in anyones mouth, boy or girl, young to old, they don't even care if you are attractive or have a good personality. Forks are life a lot of people, you really like them but they are just sluts.

Assignment 10- Hallie

Somewhat shamefully, I've played zombie video games and seen zombie movies. Although in video games I am fearless and not afraid of dying, the same is not true in real life. There isn't a reset button on your life. So, not being courageous, I would hide. I've watched enough reality TV about doomsday preppers to know that I will never be as prepared as them when it comes to disasters. Therefore, my plan is to smooch off a doomsday prepper. I hope that there is a not a zombie attack because as I re-read my plan, it seems sure to end in doom.

Assignment 15- Kaylyn Torkelson

2. What is your favorite word and why?

For the longest time, my favorite word was Susquehanna. It's the name of a river in the northeast, around the Pennsylvania area. (And also a bank and a town, as well.) The only real reason I liked the word so much was because it sounded pretty. The word Susquehanna makes me think of honey, something golden and sweet, or maybe a summer day when the temperature is perfect. The sun is
warms your face just enough, so you're not all sticky and sweaty, but you can still feel it. Susquehanna sounds like perfection. Unfortunately, I've seen the Susquehanna River. And it's not perfection. It's just a river, and a boring one at that. It's not even slightly pretty. My disappointment was overwhelming. But I still like the word. Even if it is just another dumb old river, it doesn't sound like it. Susquehanna sounds much more beautiful, and that ability to appear as something you're not is wonderful to me. I envy Susquehanna for its mysterious qualities. And that's why it's my favorite word.

Assignment 14 - Jacquelyn Engel

In all honesty, my Thanksgiving is pretty much like the ones you see in pictures and advertisement. I know a lot of people who live near their extended family, but my family doesn’t. One part of my family lives on the West coast and the other lives on the Northeast coast, so we don’t seem them often; maybe once or twice a year. Whenever we do see them though, it’s a real treat. I usually celebrate Thanksgiving with my mom’s family. We always dress up and eat all day. There are tons of appetizers, games on ESPN are on TV, and talking. Then we eat dinner pretty early, around 4 o’clock. After dinner, dessert, coffee, and tea ensues, and we always play a board game like Apples to Apples. Throughout the night, there’s a bunch of talk and discussion. We stay up late sometimes until 1 or 3 AM. Typically, we also have a late night snack of chips and Thanksgiving leftovers. It’s a pretty calm but relaxing Thanksgiving. Nothing too special happens, but we only get to do this once a year and it’s special.

Assignment 14-Thomas

This year, my thanksgiving will be spent in Lexington at my house. It will just be our immediate family, but all of us will be there because my brother and sister are coming back from college. Usually when we stay home, my dad prepares a feast complete with your trite thanksgiving staples (turkey, corn pudding, etc.) but he also makes this chocolate cheesecake that is amazing. It takes multiple days to prepare and requires some work beforehand, but the end result is worth it by far. Overall, I enjoy the holiday (and the break from school) and spend it “bonding” with fellow family members. One of the best thanksgivings was when we went out to California to spend it at my grandmother’s house with my mom’s whole side of the family. We spent most of our time at the beach or at her tennis courts, but there was still plenty of time for family card games and time together. It will be hard to forget that thanksgiving dinner in California, with 30 people somehow crowded around one table and a seemingly endless array of American and exotic foods and family to share it with. 

Assignment 14

Thanksgiving for my family consists of my mother freaking out about the meal she must create, my dad being incredibly helpless in the kitchen, and my sister and I watching Macy's thanksgiving day parade and stealing scraps of food from the kitchen. Although this year, because of my mom's demanding and stressful new job she wants the take complete advantage of her time off work to relax. 

   This year we are eating our thanksgiving meal at our country club. I can't help but feel a tinge of disappointment. There won't be the comfort of traditions or the familiarity of my own house. More importantly, there won't be my bed, calling me from upstairs for me to pass out in, while I'm completely intoxicated by tryptophan. None the less, I'm still excited to spend time with my sister who rarely comes home from Georgia and stuff my face with sweet potatoes and pecan pie 

Assignment 15: Covergirl

Actually this one is all about make-up (do you see what I did there)?





If you have completed all the blogs for the semester, then take this week off.  If you are missing a blog post then use this opportunity to make-up a grade.

Your Prompt:

Choose one of the other two prompts from Assignment 6: Create your own adventure and write about it.

Minimum of 150 words - due Sunday, December 1st at 11:59 pm

Assignment 14-Eliot Smith

     My family is insanely lazy.  I think the last time that my family has actually cooked, hosted, and served a Thanksgiving dinner was around 2008.  Since then, we have been moochers.  We have annually gone from house to restaurant to country club to house eating others' hard work.  This year, we will be eating at the Iroquois Hunt Club.  For this reason, the ability to successfully describe my average Thanksgiving dinner is strained.  One constant is the fact that I overeat every single time.  The rest of my day is always spent lying face down on either my couch or bed.
     Thanksgiving is, well, the day to give thanks.  This holiday has evolved--or devolved--into everybody stuffing their faces with stuffing and not giving a hoot about thanking those in their lives.  And, honestly, I'm completely fine with that.  I'm not really someone who goes out of their way to praise others for their deeds. Rather, I'm the kid that prefers to shut up and eat.  Because of this, I love Thanksgiving.  What can be better than a whole day dedicated to other people placing plates of delicious food in front of you only in exchange for a grateful grunt.
     Thanksgiving is not a holiday packed with memories for me; however, I fondly remember the Thanksgiving of 2007.  This was the year that we actually hosted the meal, and for dessert my father, a fantastic cook, decided to make a cheesecake.  Why he decided on a cheesecake is beyond me, as cheesecake really doesn't possess the Thanksgiving aura, but I digress.  At around 2:00, my dad opened the oven door in order to cool the cake while we left to go fetch some spices.  My German Shepherd, Burke, just absolutely devoured it.  This was the year of a dessertless Thanksgiving, and the cleaning of mounds of dog throw up.
     

Assignment 14- Megan Woodrum

Thanksgiving happens to be one of my favorite holidays. In a way I have two separate holidays; one with my mom's family and the other with my dad's. My mom's family is the one that can cook. I'm talking an entire kitchen stuffed with food in every nook and cranny, crockpots spilling over with mashed potatoes and decent different desserts. My mom has a huge family, she is one of six kids, who all have kids, who have started to have kids of their owns. After we have all stuffed our selfves past the point of being full everyone sits around drinking coffee and letting thier food settle. The best part is after that we spend the day with the women siting around working on a puzzle gossiping, while the men sit around watching football and fall asleep on the couch. My dad's family is a little different we meet a different day and then we stuff our selves, with a much smaller aray of food, and then everyone falls asleep somewhere for about two Hours and then we either play a sport or watch them. I love thanksgiving and the different traditions I have with each side of my family, and I cherish it every year.

Assignment 14-Garrett Uebelhor

        Every year my Thanksgiving consists of traveling to eastern kentucky and eating with a bunch of family on my moms side. Prior to the event everyone cooks up part of the meal and then by the time we all come together massive amounts of food consume every inch of available counter space in the host's home. Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite hollidays, some people say they love all the food and deserts, but for me it has always been seeing all my family that was really the treat.  All the family gathered around the table giving thanks for the hands that prepared the food and all the simple things in life always puts my personal greed in check. Every year it gives me the chance to remember what is really important in life. Athough presents or candy aren't recieved it fills me with happiness, one which these things cannot provide anyways. My best thanksgiving memory is that of being in my grandma's burning hot little 1 story house stuffed full of cousins, aunts, and uncles. Looking back on those thanksgiving's days I realize just how much I miss them. Now that my grandma is gone I really realize how much the extended family holidays in her house. I guess you really "don't know what you got 'till ita gone" and now I wish I had so that I could of been more grateful back then.

Assignment 6- Andy

1. If you could be one of a fictional race, what would it be and why?
2. If you owned a factory what would it make?
3. If you could have been an extra for an movie (past or future), what would it be?

1. If I could be any fictional race I would be an Elf from the Lord of The Rings. This is not only because Elves are in LOTR are the best characters in the book, but for a number of other reasons. The first reason is obvious: they are immortal. They live forever unless they are killed by battle or grief. Living forever would be nice, but there are some drawbacks. Apparently they live forever because they are waiting for the end of days, which is not something to look forward too. They also live on while their friends and comrades die. Many of the elves are powerful wizards/sorcerers, which, assuming I could be one, would be a plus. Elves also have impressive housing. Living in a tree alone would make it worth it. In J.R.R. Tolkien's universe elves are not the "most powerful" race, but I think overall the advantages of being an elf would outweigh the disadvantages and problems of being one.

Assignment 14- Andy

My family's thanksgivings usually do look like the image you find on most family magazines this time of year. In the past we have gone to my grandparents house in Frankfort to have a family dinner. My Uncle and his family come and we all enjoy a traditional Thanksgiving meal. The past few years my family has started going to Gatlinburg for Thanksgiving. My grandparents go to Gatlinburg at least once a year anyway, and this is one of the best times to do it. We still eat a meal together at a restaurant in town on Thanksgiving. The town itself can become boring after so many visits, but we find ways to entertain ourselves. My favorite part of these trips is visiting Smoky Mountain National Park. Besides the Red River Gorge and a few other local spots I have visited this park more times than any other. I enjoy hiking on the many trails, some of which are well known for their scenery and even difficulty. A few years ago we climbed Mount LeConte, a trail 6 miles up to the summit and another 6 back down. The Appalachian trail also runs through the park, which we have done portions of.

week 14: Hannah Pulley

Ah yes, Thanksgiving. The time of the year when you can hear “is there chicken or vegetable broth in this?” at least three times an hour. I’m finally over the post-Halloween self-hate fest when I’m subjected to two extremely high-calorie and labor-intensive family dinners, one with my mom and the father of my half-sister on Tuesday night, if they’re on speaking terms, and then the next with my dad and stepfamily to be on Saturday.

I’m trying to get past this part. The upside is the people I get to see and the pretense of having time to relax, the end of the semester in sight. On a good year, it is a stock photo Thanksgiving, just times two. Then again, this changes from one year to the next. I’m perfectly happy with Chinese takeout and movies one night with my uncle, who drove all the way from Washington DC, and waking up to a dusting of snow to make breakfast with my aunt. Breakfast is usually derby pie. I’m thankful for good music and good friends. We have our own black Friday that starts Thursday evening, and usually involves Skype calls until noon on Friday. It’s not conventional, per se, but I still have so many people around me, despite all the changes. 

Isaac- Assignment 14

For me, Thanksgiving has in the past been close to, but not quite, the stereotypical one. It always involves a turkey. If we don't go to a relative's house then we may invite friends, or my grandparents drive up from Georgia. If we're traveling, there are some distinct nuances depending on where we go- if we're at my grandparents house, then there will be matzoh ball soup, without a doubt. At the home of my cousins in Ohio, the meal is pretty standard, and the real difference is the people, as I'm either entertaining my little cousins or sitting on the couch watching television and chatting with my uncle, who has a similar sense of humor as me (it's nice to find a kindred spirit). If we're in Maryland with the family on my dad's side, things tend to be more relaxed, because those cousins are all fairly close to my age. It's also pretty certain that there will be at least one slightly odd dish there- the last time, it was turkey stuffed with turtledove.


This Thanksgiving will be a new experience for me, because as of August I have been a vegetarian and I don't plan on breaking the diet just for Turkeyday, or whatever the kids are calling it now. My guess is that I'll get asked why I'm no longer eating meat, partnered with if I'm sure I don't want some turkey. There's no way to really know until it happens though. Maybe it will lead to a great piece of observational comedy, but I'm not gonna get my hopes up.

Assignment 14 Schuler Ravencraft

To start off a typical Thanksgiving, I wake up and spend my first 3 hours of the day traveling to the exciting town of Owensboro Kentucky. Don’t get me wrong I love spending time with my family but Owensboro is one of the most boring places in the United States. Once I get there I am greeted by my grandparents and there abnormally energetic dog. We sit around watching the end of the Macy’s Day Parade and the Dog Show while my grandmother huffs around the kitchen, typically angry no one is helping even though she won’t let us. Once the dinner is made my great grandfather (who is 93 and scarily still drives) and my aunt head over. Being the only grandchild, I am by far the youngest of the group. We sit around the table filled with turkey, ham, mash potatoes, stuffing, green beans, grits, rolls, cranberry sauce and gravy. It is a typical southern Thanksgiving. We eat and talk and eat some more until we pass out. It has to be one of my favorite days consisting of family and food. How could it get any better?

Assignment 14- Taylore Jordan

Holy turkey, I love Thanksgiving. For everyone who doesn't care much for it or favors any other holiday or thing, let me remind you that it's FOOD. Lots of it, too. Even those $40 Cheesecake Factory cheesecakes... that's something to celebrate all on its own! But in all seriousness, it is nice to get the family together and have a fire burning and snack all day without being yelled at. Besides the fact that more people means you have to share the food, I love my family and the time I spend with them. On the eve of Thanksgiving, we usually go to my grandparents' on my dad's side and have dinner and be merry. Thanksgiving Day is held at my grandma's house (of my mother) and we, also, eat and be merry. I would say both events are rather traditional; we've got the turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, green beans, running children and a warm fire. A tradition that we do at my grandma's (mom's side) involves my grandmother getting each of us a Christmas ornament and putting it at our place on the table. We get a new one each year, and they're very nice (she goes all out... she gets them at Cracker Barrel). I do have a strange recollection of a Thanksgiving a few years ago. My grandma (on my mom's side) decided to become a foster-mother and host two young boys. They were nice boys and I was glad she was helping them, but it felt slightly strange sharing Thanksgiving with them. To add to it, my grandma's friend Susie also had Thanksgiving with us that year because she, supposedly, had nowhere else to go. I'm glad we could open our arms to these people and be inviting, but that's not to say that Thanksgiving that year wasn't a bit unusual!

Assignment 14- Kaylyn Torkelson

The appearance of my Thanksgiving generally depends on the location. Sometimes my family celebrates the holiday quietly, clearing off the dining room table that is rarely used for dining. My mom will prepare food with the help of my dad, my sister, and I. After we're done eating, we'll clear up and sit down in the living room to watch TV, like most other days. Thanksgiving isn't a big event in our household most years. Sometimes my family will head up to New Jersey to visit old friends that we've barely seen since we moved to Kentucky eight years ago. My dad and his friends watch football in the living room of our old neighbors, while my mom and her friends cook and chat over glasses of wine. The kids are almost always running around the house, or the neighbourhood, or each other, until the food is ready. When we lived in Canada, Thanksgiving turkey was almost always followed by birthday cake. (I guess that's what happens when you were born on Canadian Thanksgiving.) Nevertheless, Thanksgiving has never been a huge holiday for my family. Sure, we're thankful that we have each other. But we don't need a special day to tell each other that. Thanksgiving, in the end, is just another day.

Assignment 14-Gibbs

My typical thanksgiving, unlike many peoples, does not involve a large amount of people. It's not that I don't have a large amount of extended family, we are just pretty spread out. My cousins and both of my aunts live in Denver, Colorado, one uncle lives in North Carolina with my other cousins, on Aunt lives in Florida, etc. This makes is rather unfeasible to gather together every year. Generally I end up spending the day with my immediate family and my grandmother, who does make the trip from Colorado because of how little we are able to see her. 

The most enjoyable part about Thanksgiving is being able to do nothing. I can just forget about school and the finals that are all to near and eat just sit. I feel like we as a generation hardly ever have spare time, and Thanksgiving is one of those holidays that makes time even where there isn't any. So I don't have a specific memory that stands out to me, but I remember the feeling of being legitimately relaxed, which is a very rare experience. 

My favorite food that we have evey year is my Dad's mashed potatoes. I don't usually like mashed potatoes very much, but he makes them a different way than most people. Where you would usually cut the potatoes up and book them before mashing them, he bakes the potatoes, scoops them out, and beats them in the mixer. There is also the contributing factor that they are at least a quarter butter. So, that's my Thanksgiving. 

Assignment 14- Katy

Thanksgiving for me is never at home. It is almost always in Noblesville, Indiana, where my grandmother lives. I think my grandma used to have this dream of a huge family thanksgiving all together with tons of food, because that's usually what it is.
My family of four, my uncle's family of three, my cousin Brittany and her mother, my two cousins and their parents, and then my cousin and her boyfriend. That adds up to  15 people in a 3 bedroom house. One of which doesn't even have a bed. When you add all the pets that are also brought on the voyage to Indiana, you have one cat, two dogs, one guinea pig, and several fish. That is an extremely tight fit.
My sister and I used to get priority on sleeping, but in the past couple of years we've been pushed down on the list and we usually sleep on the floor in the dining room with our cousin Brittany. Our older cousins Christopher and Charlie actually camped outside one year... not really because we didn't have room (believe me, it's still a big house) but because they had gotten these new camping tents that were supposed to handle -30 degree weather (I think I heard them sneak in around midnight.)
Last year was probably the best thanksgiving I had had in a while. That's because my uncle took me and my cousin Brittany black Friday shopping. He said he'd take us anywhere we wanted and we could stay out as long as we wanted just as long as we helped him get two toys for his kids' Christmas. That was more than agreeable for us.
We stayed out until about 3:30am when we started to feel that our knees would give out. Luckily my uncle had gotten us coffee and a midnight snack of McDonalds, but it just wasn't enough near the end.
All in all it was a successful shopping trip. My uncle got several presents for his family (including one for me!) and my cousin Brittany purchased several cute tops. I didn't have any money with me, but the experience of black Friday shopping was enough for me. I wish I could do it again this year.

Assignment 13-Gibbs

My sister and I disagree on many subjects, but perhaps not more strongly on anything but the cleanliness of our room. We share a room, and she is constantly battling my laziness and hatred of cleaning to keep the room presentable. The problem, I just really don't care where she does. For years we have attempted to come up with some sort of solution that will alleviate the constant fighting that results from our differing preferred living styles. 

I have finally come up with a solution that, I must say, I am rather proud of. Because the main problem is our excess of clothing, jewelry, posters, books, etc. we simply need to get rid of them all. We could easily give all of the objects and clothing away, but where is the fun in that? I would much prefer to burn it all, and I am sure my sister ail agree. So, as opposed to cleaning, we will keep a torch in the room and burn any of the offending objects that manage to make there way to the floor. 

Assignment 13 Schuler Ravencraft

Mom... Mom! MOM!! Are you even listening to me?? Of course you aren't because you are on your phone! Phones have lead to an abundance of misunderstandings and all around lack of socialization. I will tell my mom 10 times where I am going and she'll swear on her grave that I had never said a word or I will be sitting with my dad watching TV and we will both just sit with that tiny screen illuminating our faces and we will not say a peep. I have a solution! It is time we collect every last phone. Yep, you heard me, take every phone and dump them off the Golden Gate bridge. This will create much more sociable, friendly people. That kid that sits with his headphones in and on twitter all day will in a snap have a million friends and a well rounded relationship with his parents. No more passing strangers and just staring straight down at your phone or no more family dinners where everyone is texting, we will walk down the street waving and start striking up dinner conversations. Bye, bye phones and hello happiness.

Assignment 13 Siobhan

Gays and lesbians have been corrupting our society since the day they decided to rebel against the norm. Everyone knows being attracted to the opposite sex is a choice, and lately these "gays" have been giving our community nothing but trouble! Since they cant have children they have been adopting children and taking them away from their familiar foster homes as well as orphanages. They have even gone to extent of adopting children from Asia and Africa. Those kids will be so lost in the US. They won't be accustomed to school everyday and their diets will be out of whack because they are eating three times a day. Gay marriage shouldn't be allowed either. Its only encouraging gay and lesbian couples to stay together. If you aren't exactly what my religion says is right than you don't deserve happiness. Simple as that.

Assignment 6 - Drew

In a post apocalyptic world, you are the only human being left. Or so you think. You go on to discover that there are in fact 5 human beings left: you, George W. Bush, Michael Jordan, Vladimir Putin, and Nicolas Sarkozy. Describe what happens once the five of you meet up in the empty streets of Brooklyn, New York City.

You're on the Death Star with your rebel strike force: you, Dilbert, Lord Admiral Viscount Horatio Nelson, Charles De Gaul, M. Tullius Cicero, B.A. Baracchus (from A-Team), and Dr. McCoy (from Star Trek). Describe how you are going to destroy this installation and talk about how your team executed.

You are asked to make a speech before Congress; what are you going to say? How critical do you plan on being to this audience? Describe the audience's reaction to your speech.

Assignment 14 :Flying Turkeys

The stock image Thanksgiving involves a lot of people around a nicely decorated table with a large turkey and a ridiculous amount of extra food. This image doesn't always depict the reality of the holiday though.

What does your Thanksgiving look like? Do you enjoy the holiday? What is your strangest or most wonderful memory of the holiday?

Minimum of 150 words - due Sunday, November 24th at 11:59 pm

Assignment 13- Megan Woodrum

Busywork is the greatest thing ever invented. Not only does give me a well needed distraction from all of those stupid, important things I have to do, like studying for that upcoming test or even working on building my college application. What's great is how when you can't complete because it nots your top priority at the moment and it drags down your grade. Who wouldn't want to stop that to work on a worksheet of a concept they already understand that has no beneficial qualities? I know I do. Another great aspect of busywork is it fills up all that class time that your teacher didn't know what to do with, making them look like such great teachers. I personally love how much doing busywork has contributed to my education, I most likely wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for it.

Assignment 13- Katy

Commercials. As I lie in bed typing this from my phone, I am also trying to enjoy my favorite show The Walking Dead. I'd personally like to find out why the Governor has appeared so randomly out of the blue. But I cannot find out at the moment because a 5 year old girl has to comment on grapes, somehow supporting an AT&T commercial. I understand the purpose of commercials, to get a product or service attention to customers, but their place is NOT in the middle of MY favorite show. I waited A WEEK to see what happens next in this amazing series. I did not wait a week to see how I can order Time Warner Cable or why the Rivard fine jewelry is better than any other jewelry place. So this is my suggestion: commercial day. That's right, one day a week we have commercial day where all we can watch is commercials, all we can hear is commercials, and everywhere we look are commercials. I mean, with all the non-commercials in shows it'll add up to more than that. And surely those companies just HAVE to get their advertisement out, right? I mean, if their product is so life-altering important to interrupt my viewing of the one good thing about Sundays, then gosh darn it we just need to dedicate an entire day to it. It seems like it deserves that much. 

Assignment 13-Eliot Smith

     As I write this, on November 17th, 2013, at 8:18 P.M., the United States debt counter displays the number 17,191,864,223,478.66.  The number of dollars we owe to a myriad of countries surpasses the highest number known by the common child.  The men and women we employ to run the "greatest country on Earth" are fighting with each other much in the way that three-year-old toddlers squabble over their mother's iPad.  No one has come up with a way to fix any of this.  We, officially, are screwed.
     It is because of this that something radical, something able to turn this hell train around, needs to be done. I think most Americans will agree with me when I say that the current American monetary system is unnecessarily intricate; a much simpler one would favor the country, and its people, much better.  This widespread belief calls for a reversion to the easy, old-fashioned barter system.
      This idea would completely dissolve the need to repay the national debt because, logically, if we don't utilize paper currency, how will we be expected to repay the Chinese?  The proposed system would also resolve the current complex monetary organization, due to the useful simplicity of the barter system.  With the system in place, a man wouldn't have to go through some futile process of transferring funds and bank accounts to make a purchase at the local Best Buy, he could just trade a few chickens and a goat for the 3D television that he's always wanted, just like the old days.  And if the Best Buy employee later discovers that he's been sold a sick goat, he can easily track down the original buyer, kill him, and take his belongings.  I believe this system would produce a win-win situation for all, based on the aforementioned example, and would completely restore this country's economy to full health.
   

Assignment 13- Andy

There is no denying that you are in more danger now than ever before. You need ways to protect yourself and your loved ones. The same is true on the internet. There are more and more ways to break into your accounts with weak security. And who can remember all those passwords anyway? There is now a solution to both these problems; Google -, a system that combines all your accounts into one. No longer will you have to remember ten different passwords. Instead you only have to sign in once every four hours with a unique 25-character password and three 4-digit codes, all of which you will be required to change every week. As an added safety measure if anyone signs into your account from any computer besides the one it is activated on, we will delete everything you have ever done. Combining accounts through Google - is the future of the internet. If you choose not to use this service you will be unable to use the internet on any computer that has accessed any Google websites. Thank you for using Google.

Assignment 13- Thomas

Funny one-liners and memorable commercials pop up all the time. Terio’s ooh kill em, that’s what she said jokes, the dos equis guy, and many others are instant classics that can lighten up many situations. However, there comes a point when they start to get old and you have to move on; for example, people saying hump day every Wednesday. After the commercial came out, everyone had their laughs and yelled hump day whenever they got the chance on a Wednesday. But then weeks passed, months passed and people still felt the need to say it. Why? You would think there are other commercials that aren’t quite as obnoxious and still funny that people can say, but evidently not.

The solution to this problem is in the commercial itself: camels. Every time someone says hump day, a select few (hump day police) will take the offender’s mode of transportation and replace it with a camel for a day. Your environmentalists will approve because it takes cars off of the road, and your middle easterners (an area which America has become so fond of) will approve because the camel market will explode. It’s a win win win situation: You get people a breath of fresh air, they can chat with Behler (riding alongside on his bike), and people stop saying hump day. The world will no doubt be a better place because of it, so join the #stophumpday2k13 movement today.

Assignment 13- Garrett Uebelhor

Yesterday at McDonalds I saw a truly amazing thing; a overweight family sitting together around a table sharing a meal. That’s what I like to see, those old American values still holding up today. Our world today is so filled with people living freely and having fun that I can hardly hold back my excitement! I mean look at this family, they are stuffing their faces with food simply letting the problems such actions result in be the work for doctors and medical personnel to solve later.  What intelligence, these people understand how they have no need to worry about what they do. They understand that they will have no consequences for what they do.  People need to understand that these are the types of beliefs they should uphold.  These are the types of people which I hope will be bread in the next few generations. Without them our future seems dim.  Imagine a world full of healthy food enthusiasts, they would ruin multi-million dollar industries like the glorious McDonalds. So unless you are an ‘merica hating communist I advise you to start changing your ways to be like that overweight family at McDonalds.

Assignment 13 - Jonathan Tungate

History has shown that people need to fight to protect themselves, and their families. As people have progressed this ability has been declining. In a time, where crime is increasing, and individuality is decreasing, a strategy for getting society back on track is obviously essential for the betterment of America, and after we set an example, the betterment of the entire world. Guns are an important part of society today, and it is obvious as more laws are getting passed decreasing the availability of guns, and things are getting worse. This is just the newsflash we all need to tell us that drastic measure needs to be taken. Instead of putting more restrictions on guns, lets take them all off. It's simple. Issue a firearm to every man, woman, and child in the country, and society will be back to defending itself. Those crazy gunman everyone is scared of? Who would attempt terrorism on a school if it's filled with kids trained to protect themselves in that very scenario? They wouldn't. Those classic muggings you see everyday wouldn't happen if the assailant knew his target was armed as well as the innocent looking bystanders. If you want a better, happier America, you want an armed America.

week 13: Hannah Pulley

You.

Yes, you, in the blue SUV next to me, the one which could crush me into the passenger seat of this Chevy Malibu. It’s dark outside and raining ever so slightly, so I can see perfectly the game of Candy Crush in progress on a phone screen through your driver’s side window. More than anything, the impatient part of me wants to tap on your shoulder and point out the move that should be obvious to you. Maybe you could solve this level, if you didn’didn't have to give a third of your attention the stoplight in front of you. Then again, sometimes I struggle to see what is so interesting about a game that is worth risking your life for. Don’t get me wrong; I like my phone most of the time, when it serves its purpose. Right now is not one of these times. The low light renders the picture I took of your license plate a blurry mess. The streetlamps reflecting off of your window make a clear shot of your face impossible.*

Therefore, I propose a simple solution. Every person caught calling, texting, surfing the web, checking mail, or playing games while in the driver’s seat of a car will have their phone taken and its contents erased. Offenders will surrender their App Store password, which will be changed for an indefinite amount of time. Those committing repeat violations risk having their screen smashed and parts of the glass removed, rendering the device unusable. Confiscation of and threats of harm to the cell phones of teenagers has proven to be an effective solution in many instances. It is a rational solution to apply this to the adults of the world as well.  

*this actually happened and represents the peak of my ongoing frustration with the camera on the iphone 4

Assignment 13- Isaac- Why do you leave a Youtube comment?

And what is this you've left under the mildly amusing video of a girl pranking her cats?  Is it, perhaps, some constructive criticism- "This video was nice, but I prefer your longer ones?" No. Of course not. Nor was it simply a nice thing to say, because praising someone with a "that was pretty funny!" or a "really creative!" is unheard of. None of your friends will think you're cool if you do that.

You left what, then? Some hate? Maybe you hit on the girl in the video because your hormones are out of control, which is a super creepy thing to do. Could it be that you were just a d-list troll, or worse yet, got into some heated political or religious debate? It has to be one of these. These comment sections spew nothing but vitriol and anger and they are constantly flooded with the stuff, but hey, maybe you'll get top comment or make that guy "realize" how bad immigrants are. Because we all know that once you get top comment or sway Mr. Internet's ideologies you'll... You'll, um- wait, what would this have accomplished exactly, because it seems to me that all you've done is contribute to the ever-growing mold of humanity that is a Youtube comment section.

Assignment 13 - Jacquelyn Engel

On average a person sneezes about four times a day. 98% of the time I see someone sneeze, they sneeze into their hands. I’m disgusted. Is it that hard to sneeze into your arm? In order to fix this, I’ve conjured up an idea that will quickly change this habit. Every time someone sneezes into their hands, they will have to submerge their hands in boiling water. This solution could actually be more effective than expected. It would be such a painful experience that people would immediately stop sneezing into their hands because they don’t want to relive it. Also another benefit from this idea, all the nasty germs and saliva will be eliminated due to the scorching hot water. Now, I realize that it would be difficult to watch every single person, so I propose a program that everyone has to enroll in at least once in their lifetime. This can efficiently ensure that all people learn how to sneeze properly. It’s not rocket science; it’s just common sense of Behavior 101, but unfortunately, not everyone knows that, so they have left me with no other options.

Life as Corey Feldman's Glove

My life blows. Everyday I wake up to some fool sticking his hand in me like a puppet. Who does this guy think he is? You're not Michael Jackson. Just give up. Your best days are behind you, and a music career is not the way to go. Don't you know everyone is just making fun of you? And take down that pathetic alter to your own career. I mean, we all love The Lost Boys, but License to Drive? Really? I'm surprised that a poster for that dreck was even manufactured, let alone actually put on a wall somewhere. And what is the deal with this whole Corey's Angels thing? What well-adjusted adult woman would give up her life to hang out in skimpy lingerie at the home of the star of Meatballs 4? Oh, did I say "home?" Oops, pardon me. I meant "Feldmansion." Yeah, I really just said that, "Feldmansion." Man, your life is sad enough already, now you have to name your house like a McDonalds sandwich? I just wanted to cover someone's hand. I just wanted to keep someone warm. Now I'm stuck shaking hands with Todd Bridges and Pauly Shore at a pathetic "Pajama Jammy-Jam" house party. Kill me. Please.

Disclaimer: I love Corey Feldman and wish him the best of luck in revitalizing his career. It would just suck to be his glove, and let's face it, he's kind of an easy target.

Assignment 13: Changes!

Think of all of the things and ideas that exist in the world.

Which one bothers you the most?

Think on Jonathan Swift's "Proposal" and write your own satiric solution to your troublesome issue.

First I would spend some time watching and or reading a great deal of satire to get into in the mental mode satire requires.

Minimum of 150 words - due Sunday, November 17th at 11:59 pm

Assignment 12- Julian Perry

It was a grey morning, full of great mourning over the loss of Sk's best friend. At least, that's what he imagined it might look like outside. He had never seen the outside, but grey just seemed like a fitting color for it. Sk, what his buddies called him, was short for SkullCandy. He didn't like being called Sk, but he would never say anything about it. Sk wasn't a confrontational earbud, but he was a clever one. When his friend got taken the day before, all he could do was watch. He knew he was next, because the store had just opened again, and he was up front on the rack. He could see everything from here! The building was a lot larger than he had originally thought. This is when he finally gave up hope of escape. His own mother building had sold him into slavery.. How else could this all be explained? Any second now. 

Sk wondered who might take him away. Would it be one of those little things or would it be a big person? He hoped they didn't look scary. He was still going to be scared, anyway. He was always scared. 

Sk wouldn't be bullied around, though. He wasn't strong, but he had heart. We had his wits. He would attack when the odds were in his favor. When that tiny yellow-topped creature came up and grabbed him, he was ready. As soon as he reached a pocket, he knew what to do. He would tangle himself up so badly that no one would ever mess with SkullCandy again. Sk would make sure of that.  

Assignment 12- Kaylyn Torkelson

A Day in the Life of an Oriental Rug

I hate my job. I hate my life. I really wish I could get up and roll away, but alas, I am stuck here. It's hard getting walked over like you're worthless, you know? I used to be hanging up among hundreds of my kind, with a nice laminated price tag and everything. I couldn't wait until the day that someone picked me and took me home. Now, I spend my days in the middle of a room on the floor. Countless amounts of food and liquid have been spilled on me, even though they're not supposed to be in the living room anyways. I'm starting to bald in the few areas where the blasted couch rubs up against me, and the sun is starting to bleach my already fading complexion. And the worst part is, I'm walked over. Constantly. It's like people put me there to prevent themselves from touching the hardwood floor. I don't even like feet! But that's all I ever feel. I can't even defend myself against the constant attack- I lack appendages. Really, I feel completely useless. I'm not even appreciated or admired anymore. I'm just there.

One day I'd just like to swallow my owners whole.

Assignment 12- Megan Woodrum

I don't get used on a daily basis, not even weekly, but sometimes Megan will stop being so lazy or feel creative one day and start to paint. I watch as she sets off to work sketching and getting out her paints and canvas and then it starts. I get a plunge in cold water and then I begin to swirl colors together; making purples and oranges and all shades and colors. I help her smear them on her canvas this way and that, forming shapes and pictures where there was only white before. Together we make her picture come to life in a vibrant new form. We can work for hours at a time, she never seems to think that her picture is good enough, but I never complain I just like the exercise and feeling like I'm useful again. Eventually Megan will have somewhere to go or the day has ended, I will get a good wash and then I'll be put neatly away next to my brothers until the next time we will create something together.

Assignment 12-Eliot Smith

     Do you know what it's like to have arms and legs, but not to be able to talk, walk, breathe, or move?  That's my life.  I am a chair.  Specifically, I am a dining-table chair.  I reside in the house of the Smiths, a family that pays no respect to me whatsoever and has the most annoying child in this country.

     I come from China, born and fabricated.  I was then flown into the United States and assembled in a furniture store and put on display.  Not much later, I was rudely disassembled and driven to this insufferable house.  My legs and arms were reattached and I was placed in the center of the kitchen.  This is where I have stayed for ten years.  Ten damn long years.  As you probably know, chairs don't see much action, but it doesn't make it better that the humans inhabiting this house are, without a doubt, the most boring, detestable group of people that I have ever met.  I plan to kill them regularly, employing such tactics as sliding out from under them when they sit down, tripping them, and blocking them from running out of the kitchen; however, my lack of the ability to move has heavily impeded my attempts.

     That little shrimp of a kid is back again.  He's sitting on me.  God, I hate this little scrub.  He's trying (failing) to sing along to some weird song while he hits me to try to mimic a drumbeat.  He's typing something, I can't see what it is.  I'm going to fight him.  I swear.

Assignment 12- Taylore Jordan

*The following is from the point of view of my cell phone* Taylore and I have a love/hate relationship. She taps and pokes at me all day, even going so far as to drop me on some occasions. However, I know that she needs and depends on me. If it weren't for me, her mother wouldn't be able to get the required text from Taylore telling her whenever she arrives or leaves any place (since she began to drive). Life is stressful at times. If I have a busy day, I know that I have the possibility of dying. It's always a scary thought, but I'm able to revive with Taylore's help. Rest doesn't come by often; whenever I attempt to enjoy a screen timeout, I'll get a vibration that jolts me back on. I offer so many different resources to Taylore, and I'll get an occasional thanks with a new case or a fresh charge. The only thing that I find hard to deal with is being compared to an iPhone. Androids are great, and I'm confident in the qualities that distinguish me from Apple!

Assignment 12 Schuler Ravencraft

I wait and wait and wait… Every time I here footsteps I get excited and think she is about to bust through the door but I should know better… She doesn’t get home until around 3:45 so why do I get my hopes up, I mean it’s not like she’ll pay any attention to me anyways. As soon as my clock hit 3:45 I know its time. She walks through the door and completely bypasses me and walks over and turns on the TV and whips out her I phone! What a jerk! She doesn’t even acknowledge my existence until she needs help with something. Oh you have homework? Now you want my help?? What’s wrong with your phone? If I am in a good mood sometimes I’ll help her out but some days my wifi “stops working” or I’m “not responding” and it’s nice to see her actually act like she needs me. Even though she starts to get angry calling me “stupid technology” and starts stabbing at my buttons it’s nice to hear her say “How am I going to write my paper!?”. It reminds me that I truly am needed so I always end up helping her out in the end. I mean don’t get me wrong we have some fun times. It’s always nice to watch Youtube videos together and it’s fun learning new and exciting things, but it would be nice to get a little more appreciation. 

Assignment 12- Thomas Ueland

Life as our Suburban- Well, its 7 AM, and time for the daily rise and grind. I don’t know how many more of these road trips I can take- I mean, I know they’re only 30 minutes long, but once you’ve been around as long as I have the joints don’t work as well as they used to. My owners never take me in to get maintenance, and this decade-old technology is ancient by today’s standards. My speakers hardly work (too much Waka Flocka), air conditioning is overrated, and who said good gas mileage is a must have? Still, even though I’m not as fancy as these Mercedes and Audi SUVs, I can guarantee you that I’ve been through 100 times the struggle that they have. And I’m still running, aren’t I? How many of them have had to carry 7 passengers and a 2500-pound trailer from Kentucky to Colorado, and back? Bet you no hip Mercedes with their heated seats and rear view cameras could do that. Other than my daily trek to the same building every morning and back home, I mostly just stay in the same spot on the driveway and reminisce about the good old days- when my horsepower was worshipped, and no one cared about gas mileage. Darn environmentalists ruin everything. My owners have moved on to bigger and better things, like a sleek Mini Cooper or a mid size Volvo, but they know that whenever they need a car that’ll never break down for long distances, they’ll take me, that 2001 Suburban they used to rely so much upon.