Assignment 20- Thomas

How to be a local rap sensation:

Most people think the key to musical fame lies within your voice, creativity, and performing ability- they couldn’t be more wrong. This simple step-by-step guide will get you on your way to becoming a famous rapper even if you don’t actually have any real talent.

Step 1- Dress to fit the part. You must own snapbacks, a pair of beats (must be around your neck at all times), chains, t-shirts that say SWAG and reference illegal drugs, and always sag your pants. 

Step 2- Come up with a rap name (Young Gunshots, Lil Scrappy, Blaze Ya Dead Homie, etc.). If you need ideas just enter your name in the Wu Tang Clan name generator. The more ridiculous the better. 

Step 3- Get in the studio. It doesn’t matter if you’ve never heard a rap song before or have no rhythm, just let a beat play and start talking. All you need is one phrase that you can repeat a bunch of times and then you’re golden- if you say “she keep on going through my phone” in a really obnoxious voice 80 times in one song it’s an automatic hit. Fill the time in between by cussing and talking about all the money that you have and everyone else doesn’t have.

Step 4- Make people pay money for your music and sit back and enjoy the fame.